Where do I begin? I suppose the beginning is good! I was born way back in the past, in a sleepy Suffolk town called Bury St Edmunds. As a child I remember going to church with my parents from about the age of 6 or 7, and when I was 8 I gave my life to Jesus. I still remember the moment very clearly. I was praying with my mum, and I asked Jesus to come into my heart. I wanted to live the way he wanted me to.
Some people would say that at such a young age, I could never have made such a decision. However, I know that my request to Jesus to come into my life was genuine. I said sorry for the things that I had done wrong, and accepted the amazing fact that Jesus forgave me and loved me. It really was that simple. He loved me and I loved him back. That was the start of my journey with Jesus. How cool is that! My faith in Jesus began to grow and I loved going to Sunday school. Those early years were so important to me; incredibly precious.
When I was 9 years old, I lost a brother and a granddad within three months of each other. To say it was a taxing year is an understatement. At the same time, I was having real difficulties with anxiety and nerves. One of the effects was that I couldn’t eat in front of other people. Every time I ate, I felt sick. So I stopped eating. I lost a huge amount of weight. I was literally a shadow of my former self. It took several months to sort this problem out but eventually I began to eat normally.
When stuff like this happens to you, it forces you to ask questions of God. Even as a child I had a lot of questions that I needed to ask God about these things. I never questioned God’s existence, but I did wonder what he was doing. How could he let these things happen to me; to my family? Why did he let these things happen? Did God care? Did God still love me?
I soon realised that as a follower of Jesus, I was not immune to bad things happening to me or around me. It just so happened that these events happened when I was young; they could have happened at any age! I realise now that these events have shaped me into who I am today. I remember those events better than yesterday, and they are a part of me. However, they have also provided me with opportunities to help others that have experienced similar situations. I have been able to empathise and sympathise with people far better than if I hadn’t experienced these things for myself.
How we react to the experiences that come our way in life, whether good or bad, is a critical factor in developing our character and faith as followers of Jesus. I truly believe this with all my heart.
Despite these early experiences of grief, I continued to grow in my faith until I was about 14 years old. Around that time, the church my family and I were attending went through a lot of changes and couple that with my sudden rebellious teenager phase, and the recipe was ripe for a “prodigal son production”. Church appeared boring, and Sunday morning football was a far more attractive option.
For nearly 2 years, every Sunday morning, almost without fail, I would go and play football with my mates at a local park. It was great fun! I cannot say that I was any good – in fact I was rubbish, but I was enjoying my new found popularity and being with mates. I also had the excuse that my brother Steven had also started playing football on a Sunday, and so if he could get away with it I could too.
My relationship with God suffered as a result of this new regime. I stopped talking to God. I stopped reading his word. None of my school mates were Christians, so they weren’t going to encourage me. And who as a rebellious 14 or 15 year old ever listens to what their parents say? I wasn’t about to break that mould either!
So I carried on playing football for a while. But slowly it began to dawn on me that I was missing something in life. God was the missing piece (and peace) in my life, but would I do anything about it?
My answer was somewhat half hearted. I started to manage my brother's youth football team when I was 17, and began to attend a different local church on the odd morning I had off. It wasn’t exactly a solution, and over time I started to attend the same church, but in the evenings instead. However, my motives for going to church weren’t pure. All I wanted to do was tick the 'I went to church this week and everyone was happy' box. This would at least, keep my parents and God off my back for another week. It was simply a pointless, half-hearted gesture; a routine to appease people.
Having said all this, I still prayed to God on occasions, but only to get answers to the things I needed answers too. I hated doing A-levels and I prayed to God to open a door and provide a way out. Incredibly, by his grace, God provided an opportunity to work as a Junior Architectural Technician at a local firm in Bury St Edmunds. I was made up! I had wanted to go to university to study architecture, but I would never have gotten the grades at A level. This answer to prayer, to do something I wanted to do, perked my faith up for a while, but it was fairly short lived!
The summer of ’98 made me assess who I was and who I believed in. Without going into details, my mum and dad separated. I was in turmoil. What little faith I had in God at that point was being tested to the max. But bizarrely this test of faith, began to make me rely on God more and more like never before. God was the one constant in my life. Whilst everything else in life was a blur, God at least was unchanging, unfailing, loving, forgiving. He knew how I was feeling.
I quit managing the youth team, and I started attending church more regularly. My faith grew stronger again, and I reached a point where I felt it was right to be baptised. So in July 1999, I was baptised and for a while things were great. My parents were still separated, but I was doing okay. I was coping, with God’s help, and my walk with Jesus was steady.
However, another tragic event shook my faith. In 2000, a young lad in the church youth group was killed in a car accident. It cut me to the bone. I knew he was a Christian; he had made a commitment just a couple of weeks before his death. However, the God of love that I was told about and knew personally, wasn’t making sense. If he was so loving why let these bad things happen? If he is all powerful, why can’t he save people from dying in such terrible circumstances?
This latest body blow, stirred up all the emotions and feelings about my family again. I began to get angry with God; in fact I was seething. I would argue with God in my head, speak to him out loud in my bedroom and shout at him whilst driving my car. I had so many questions. Why would he let this happen? How could he let it happen? Why didn’t he do something? And I even asked, what’s the point in living?
My anger was often vented towards the people around me. Some of my friends, family members and even my works colleagues saw a very different side to the placid, gentle soul that normally rested within my being. I would do my best to bottle up my feelings, but every now and then I would snap and have a rant at someone. I felt hurt. Let-down. Afraid. Unloved. I was now running away from God as fast as I could. I took on a new football team on Sunday mornings. I stopped going to church. I did everything to avoid contact with other Christians. I felt that God had abandoned me. He wasn’t listening to my prayers; they were simply bouncing off the ceiling.
However, I discovered that God’s grip on me was far stronger than I had ever imagined. He was not going to let me wander away from him a second time. At those moments when I was standing on the edge of the abyss, ready to give up on God, he placed around me to encourage me and support me in my faith. I believe God works through people; and I owe two people in particular a debt of gratitude.
Mark Humm is the first. Mark was the youth minister at the church I was attending at the time all this rubbish was happening in my life. He probably doesn’t even know how much he helped me, but I honestly believe I wouldn’t be typing my story now if it wasn’t for his help and intervention.
I respect Mark 100%. When I was struggling, he continued to make the effort to pray for me and with me. He helped me to rationalise some of my thoughts, feelings and anger. He encouraged me in my faith, and said that it was “OK” to be feeling the way I was. He didn’t try and hide my hurts, but acknowledged them and helped me understand and deal with them. He bought me wisdom and guidance when I needed it. He mirrored the attitude of Jesus in so many ways. And 11 years on I’m delighted to say he is still a great friend and mentor. He is a great guy!
Jon Warnock was the second. He helped me to integrate my passion for football with my faith in Jesus through a team called Sporting 87. Sporting 87 is run by Christians who have a desire to see its members grow and develop physically, emotionally and spiritually, and play in such a way as to be Christ’s ambassador to all those who come into contact with the club.
Jon’s passion for both football and God are captivating qualities. Before I had Jon, I never contemplated that these two elements in my life could work together, side by side. Jon helped me to develop new skills, and provide me with new opportunities to meet other young Christians through the football club. I will forever be indebted to Jon for all the time and energy he has invested into me, and all the great advice he has provided for me through numerous phone calls and pub lunches in my 7 seasons as Reserve Team manager at the club.
So with these guys help, and the help of others also, I began to pick myself up, dust myself down, and walk with Jesus once more. And incredibly, in 2003, I felt a call from God to be a youth worker. The work that I had wanted to do, the career that I was trying to carve out for myself, was not a long term plan that God had for my life. Remember, I truly believed that God had opened a door into architecture 8 years before, but now there was a new calling for me, a fresh direction in which to travel. God was calling me to put down my pens, paper and set square, and pick up a bible to share the good news with young people. I was somewhat taken aback. I wondered whether the still small voice in my head was God, or some trick of conscience, but the desire would not go away, but grew stronger.
An opportunity arose to take a gap year and work on a programme at Purley Baptist Church, South Croydon, with my friend and mentor Mark Humm. He approached me in the summer of 2003 and asked whether I knew of anyone who would want to take up a gap year at his new church. I was amazed! I hadn’t told anyone of my intention to change professions and follow this new calling from God. Yet here I was being told about this opportunity to take a gap year.
I agreed to work with Mark for the year and I had an amazing time. I grew in my faith and in my gifting, and started to be pushed to speak up front and lead worship. Now, anyone who knows me well will know that I do not like talking to groups of people. I don’t like to be the centre of attention, and I don’t enjoy being up front: it definitely does not come naturally to me. However through my year at Purley and in my youth work roles since, I have slowly become acclimatised to standing and talking or leading worship bands in front of people.
God has been opening doors for me ever since, fulfilling a prophetic word that had been given to me in my first few days at Purley. At the end of my year in Purley, I started work at a church back in Suffolk, about 25 minutes away from friends and family in Bury St Edmunds. As the youth worker at Parkview Chapel, I spent 4 and a half years learning more about youth work and young people, and developing my gifts and skills further. The church were incredibly patient with me and I had an amazing time at the church. I made a few mistakes, but learnt from them along the way, and I will always be grateful for how God used me and the church in the community in Rickinghall and Botesdale.
About the middle of last year (2008) I began to feel that the time may be right to move on again and seek a new challenge. A few months later, in February 2009, I started working at re:generation church, taking up the role as their youth worker. So far I’ve had an incredible time, and been truly blessed by the church. So that’s my story so far.
It’s not been an easy ride by any means; my life has been a rollercoaster ride and I’ve often wanted to get off! God however, has remained faithful. He has always been there for me, even when I turned away from him. Having a relationship with God is amazing. I pray that you would choose to live for him!
When I was 9 years old, I lost a brother and a granddad within three months of each other. To say it was a taxing year is an understatement. At the same time, I was having real difficulties with anxiety and nerves. One of the effects was that I couldn’t eat in front of other people. Every time I ate, I felt sick. So I stopped eating. I lost a huge amount of weight. I was literally a shadow of my former self. It took several months to sort this problem out but eventually I began to eat normally.
When stuff like this happens to you, it forces you to ask questions of God. Even as a child I had a lot of questions that I needed to ask God about these things. I never questioned God’s existence, but I did wonder what he was doing. How could he let these things happen to me; to my family? Why did he let these things happen? Did God care? Did God still love me?
I soon realised that as a follower of Jesus, I was not immune to bad things happening to me or around me. It just so happened that these events happened when I was young; they could have happened at any age! I realise now that these events have shaped me into who I am today. I remember those events better than yesterday, and they are a part of me. However, they have also provided me with opportunities to help others that have experienced similar situations. I have been able to empathise and sympathise with people far better than if I hadn’t experienced these things for myself.
How we react to the experiences that come our way in life, whether good or bad, is a critical factor in developing our character and faith as followers of Jesus. I truly believe this with all my heart.
Despite these early experiences of grief, I continued to grow in my faith until I was about 14 years old. Around that time, the church my family and I were attending went through a lot of changes and couple that with my sudden rebellious teenager phase, and the recipe was ripe for a “prodigal son production”. Church appeared boring, and Sunday morning football was a far more attractive option.
For nearly 2 years, every Sunday morning, almost without fail, I would go and play football with my mates at a local park. It was great fun! I cannot say that I was any good – in fact I was rubbish, but I was enjoying my new found popularity and being with mates. I also had the excuse that my brother Steven had also started playing football on a Sunday, and so if he could get away with it I could too.
My relationship with God suffered as a result of this new regime. I stopped talking to God. I stopped reading his word. None of my school mates were Christians, so they weren’t going to encourage me. And who as a rebellious 14 or 15 year old ever listens to what their parents say? I wasn’t about to break that mould either!
So I carried on playing football for a while. But slowly it began to dawn on me that I was missing something in life. God was the missing piece (and peace) in my life, but would I do anything about it?
My answer was somewhat half hearted. I started to manage my brother's youth football team when I was 17, and began to attend a different local church on the odd morning I had off. It wasn’t exactly a solution, and over time I started to attend the same church, but in the evenings instead. However, my motives for going to church weren’t pure. All I wanted to do was tick the 'I went to church this week and everyone was happy' box. This would at least, keep my parents and God off my back for another week. It was simply a pointless, half-hearted gesture; a routine to appease people.
Having said all this, I still prayed to God on occasions, but only to get answers to the things I needed answers too. I hated doing A-levels and I prayed to God to open a door and provide a way out. Incredibly, by his grace, God provided an opportunity to work as a Junior Architectural Technician at a local firm in Bury St Edmunds. I was made up! I had wanted to go to university to study architecture, but I would never have gotten the grades at A level. This answer to prayer, to do something I wanted to do, perked my faith up for a while, but it was fairly short lived!
The summer of ’98 made me assess who I was and who I believed in. Without going into details, my mum and dad separated. I was in turmoil. What little faith I had in God at that point was being tested to the max. But bizarrely this test of faith, began to make me rely on God more and more like never before. God was the one constant in my life. Whilst everything else in life was a blur, God at least was unchanging, unfailing, loving, forgiving. He knew how I was feeling.
I quit managing the youth team, and I started attending church more regularly. My faith grew stronger again, and I reached a point where I felt it was right to be baptised. So in July 1999, I was baptised and for a while things were great. My parents were still separated, but I was doing okay. I was coping, with God’s help, and my walk with Jesus was steady.
However, another tragic event shook my faith. In 2000, a young lad in the church youth group was killed in a car accident. It cut me to the bone. I knew he was a Christian; he had made a commitment just a couple of weeks before his death. However, the God of love that I was told about and knew personally, wasn’t making sense. If he was so loving why let these bad things happen? If he is all powerful, why can’t he save people from dying in such terrible circumstances?
This latest body blow, stirred up all the emotions and feelings about my family again. I began to get angry with God; in fact I was seething. I would argue with God in my head, speak to him out loud in my bedroom and shout at him whilst driving my car. I had so many questions. Why would he let this happen? How could he let it happen? Why didn’t he do something? And I even asked, what’s the point in living?
My anger was often vented towards the people around me. Some of my friends, family members and even my works colleagues saw a very different side to the placid, gentle soul that normally rested within my being. I would do my best to bottle up my feelings, but every now and then I would snap and have a rant at someone. I felt hurt. Let-down. Afraid. Unloved. I was now running away from God as fast as I could. I took on a new football team on Sunday mornings. I stopped going to church. I did everything to avoid contact with other Christians. I felt that God had abandoned me. He wasn’t listening to my prayers; they were simply bouncing off the ceiling.
However, I discovered that God’s grip on me was far stronger than I had ever imagined. He was not going to let me wander away from him a second time. At those moments when I was standing on the edge of the abyss, ready to give up on God, he placed around me to encourage me and support me in my faith. I believe God works through people; and I owe two people in particular a debt of gratitude.
Mark Humm is the first. Mark was the youth minister at the church I was attending at the time all this rubbish was happening in my life. He probably doesn’t even know how much he helped me, but I honestly believe I wouldn’t be typing my story now if it wasn’t for his help and intervention.
I respect Mark 100%. When I was struggling, he continued to make the effort to pray for me and with me. He helped me to rationalise some of my thoughts, feelings and anger. He encouraged me in my faith, and said that it was “OK” to be feeling the way I was. He didn’t try and hide my hurts, but acknowledged them and helped me understand and deal with them. He bought me wisdom and guidance when I needed it. He mirrored the attitude of Jesus in so many ways. And 11 years on I’m delighted to say he is still a great friend and mentor. He is a great guy!
Jon Warnock was the second. He helped me to integrate my passion for football with my faith in Jesus through a team called Sporting 87. Sporting 87 is run by Christians who have a desire to see its members grow and develop physically, emotionally and spiritually, and play in such a way as to be Christ’s ambassador to all those who come into contact with the club.
Jon’s passion for both football and God are captivating qualities. Before I had Jon, I never contemplated that these two elements in my life could work together, side by side. Jon helped me to develop new skills, and provide me with new opportunities to meet other young Christians through the football club. I will forever be indebted to Jon for all the time and energy he has invested into me, and all the great advice he has provided for me through numerous phone calls and pub lunches in my 7 seasons as Reserve Team manager at the club.
So with these guys help, and the help of others also, I began to pick myself up, dust myself down, and walk with Jesus once more. And incredibly, in 2003, I felt a call from God to be a youth worker. The work that I had wanted to do, the career that I was trying to carve out for myself, was not a long term plan that God had for my life. Remember, I truly believed that God had opened a door into architecture 8 years before, but now there was a new calling for me, a fresh direction in which to travel. God was calling me to put down my pens, paper and set square, and pick up a bible to share the good news with young people. I was somewhat taken aback. I wondered whether the still small voice in my head was God, or some trick of conscience, but the desire would not go away, but grew stronger.
An opportunity arose to take a gap year and work on a programme at Purley Baptist Church, South Croydon, with my friend and mentor Mark Humm. He approached me in the summer of 2003 and asked whether I knew of anyone who would want to take up a gap year at his new church. I was amazed! I hadn’t told anyone of my intention to change professions and follow this new calling from God. Yet here I was being told about this opportunity to take a gap year.
I agreed to work with Mark for the year and I had an amazing time. I grew in my faith and in my gifting, and started to be pushed to speak up front and lead worship. Now, anyone who knows me well will know that I do not like talking to groups of people. I don’t like to be the centre of attention, and I don’t enjoy being up front: it definitely does not come naturally to me. However through my year at Purley and in my youth work roles since, I have slowly become acclimatised to standing and talking or leading worship bands in front of people.
God has been opening doors for me ever since, fulfilling a prophetic word that had been given to me in my first few days at Purley. At the end of my year in Purley, I started work at a church back in Suffolk, about 25 minutes away from friends and family in Bury St Edmunds. As the youth worker at Parkview Chapel, I spent 4 and a half years learning more about youth work and young people, and developing my gifts and skills further. The church were incredibly patient with me and I had an amazing time at the church. I made a few mistakes, but learnt from them along the way, and I will always be grateful for how God used me and the church in the community in Rickinghall and Botesdale.
About the middle of last year (2008) I began to feel that the time may be right to move on again and seek a new challenge. A few months later, in February 2009, I started working at re:generation church, taking up the role as their youth worker. So far I’ve had an incredible time, and been truly blessed by the church. So that’s my story so far.
It’s not been an easy ride by any means; my life has been a rollercoaster ride and I’ve often wanted to get off! God however, has remained faithful. He has always been there for me, even when I turned away from him. Having a relationship with God is amazing. I pray that you would choose to live for him!
